Archive for August, 2010


…Are Quickly Foiled By Life

It has been a chaotic weekend. The plans that I thought would happen were blown out of the water completely by unexpected opportunities and at this moment, we are still sitting in Georgia when we should be in South Bend.

Thursday Mom called and wanted to know if Dad could pick K up that afternoon so that they could take her to Pigeon Forge. I told her I had to think about it but would call her back. After a lot of talking it out and tweaking their plans some, we decided to let her go to Pigeon Forge with them. The tweaks involved us taking her up to Cartersville on Friday morning and initially, that they would bring her back to Lilburn when they came home on Sunday.

Thursday was a bit hectic what with the kids trying to get in some last minute play time and everything else going on. Friday morning was no different. We got about 2 hours of sleep before heading to Cartersville. The plan was that after we dropped K off and they headed out that we were either going to go to Summerville to see Rin’s great grandmother or we were going to do some sorting at Mom and Dad’s to get some more of mine and K’s things since there were still a ton there.

First, we ended up going out to lunch with Mom and Dad and then saw them off on their way. She and I are trying a “starting over” thing and I am cautiously optimistic. She said she was tired of fighting and gods know I am, so we’ll see what happens. Anyway, they set off and Rin and I headed to Home Depot. From there, we went to the house.

Here’s where things start to get interesting. You see, my room was a total chaotic mess and there was so much stuff that we had to do some sorting and cleaning to even start getting to what I wanted to get out. Then we realized that we had the house to ourselves (well except for the cats), so we kind of dove into the project. At 6am, she put me to bed in K’s bed because I was so exhausted. She napped for a bit and then the next morning we were back to working again. We had a lot to get done on Saturday before Troy could come up and pick up a load for us for which I still can’t thank him enough. Once he left, we were theoretically just going to do a little bit more and then head back to Lilburn…so then 5am rolls around and we were still there and still working and it was insane. Sunday was much the same way. I actually called Mom and just told them to a) take their time and b) come to their house since we were there. We were still working on getting our first load into the car when they got home. We visited with them for a bit and got the first load in and headed back to Lilburn, trying not to get killed by the idiots on the highways. We started unloading, had a bit of help from Troy, and then sent him to finish his work so he could sleep since he had an early flight Monday morning.

When I realized it was going to take us longer here than I had realized, I called Mom and told her to put K to bed and that I had no real idea when we’d get there. We finally headed that way around 3 something. We stopped at got breakfast at McDonald’s in Cartersville and got to the house around 5am Monday…pretty much in time to wake my Dad up and see him off to work. We didn’t get a lot done while Mom and K were still asleep, so once they woke up, the real work began. We were trying to get back to Lilburn before Mr. Monkey got home, but we missed that deadline and a couple more. There was so much more to sort and play Tetris with than we had realized, and some of it was taking a lot longer than we ever could have calculated for. We finally got on the road around 7 something after a few tearful goodbyes and promises that things really would be okay.

It took a little bit, but K settled in the car and we were talking about how it was a little scary but that she was excited about her new school and moving and that was a very good thing. We got Schlotzky’s for dinner which was yummy as usual and got back to the house around 9. The kids got to play for a little bit and K got to share her super-special caramels that her Gamma had given her, and then it was their bedtime. Rin and I had aimed to get a bit more done, but we both ended up crashing rather soundly. Something about a complete lack of sleep, a whole lot of physical labor, and pain levels catching up to us.

Tuesday dawned with neither of us able to move very well and it pretty much slowed us down from the get-go. By that point, we knew there was no way we would make open house, but we were still shooting for getting her to school on time. (Although once the secretary at the school found out that we were still in the process of moving up she was basically like “please inhale, it is all right”.)

Things took longer than we wanted, in part because I was kinda useless. Also, we had a little bit of time taken up by dinner since we had promised to take them for a Best Friend’s Waffle Dinner for National Waffle Day. We went to WaHo and they were very slow which was annoying. The food was good though, which made up for the horrible server. (Pro tip: if a customer politely asks you if you are new, say yes because it likely means they think you’ve done a terrible job. Pro tip the second: I don’t care if the text message is from God himself, take yourself more than 2 steps away from the table to rudely answer it. Seriously.) The kids had a ton of fun eating their waffles and everything else they consumed, and then we had to make a brief Wal-mart run before returning to Walgreens to attempt to pick up our scripts. The one on Rockbridge is awful and they screw things up all the time but we’d hoped that tonight, since it was closer, that they’d managed 2 freakin’ scripts. Nope. They shorted her ten of her narcotic which meant that she had to go back inside and they were like, “Well, we have to recount the inventory.” Um, what? She asked how long it would take and they weren’t giving her an answer until she got a bit snotty and was like, “No, I have two children in the car who need to get home for bed, how long will it take?” They told her to go and call back later. That stole a bit more time because of having to go in and deal with it and later for having to drive back over after they called her.

The kids had some play time and then they had some snuggle time and then there were some tissues and Mr. Monkey had to go to bed since he had school today. K helped us with stuff for a good long while, and we were still trying to get out of here on time, but I think it was pretty much a doomed effort.

Once we realized that there was no way we would make the school day, we slowed down a bit to try to accommodate stupid, unhappy bodies. Sadly, at this point, we are both kinda gimpy and still have to finish getting everything sorted and into the car. Then there’s that whole driving thing…but it has to be done and it will be good when we get there.

I can’t begin to tell you all of the kinds of things that I found while poking through my bedroom and then trying to decide what needs to come now and what can stay for later trips has also been a bit of a headache. We got out a lot of stuff though and it was kind of startling once we’d gotten the car loaded a second time. I’ve found pictures that I had forgotten existed, writings that I had thought lost, and so much more besides. I’ve found academic papers that remind me that I’m supposed to be working on academic publishing and that I need to kick my own ass and get back into it. I’ve found books and all kinds of other things and have amazed myself by some of the things that the younger me kept over the years. I suspect some of those will find their way here, but I have no idea when.

It has been an emotionally charged, physically draining weekend and we’ve still miles to go before we sleep. I’m trying to finish icing my knees and my lumbar spine since they seem to hate me the most. Silly things.

I talked to Mom a little bit ago and she was only barely “tsk-tsk” at me and mostly was teasing at that. I told her to reassure Dad that I had the 3-Cell Mag-lite in the car (he’d been quite worried that I was going to leave mine there), and she said, “You know that’s partially just his way of saying ‘I love you.'” I said, “I know, that’s why I’m making the note for you.” She got quiet for a moment and said, “After you left the other night, I lost him. The house isn’t that big and I couldn’t find him. I finally stood in the middle of the hall and called his name and he said, ‘I’m in here,’ and I said, ‘Where’s here?'” He had been sitting on my bed, looking around the room. When she went in, he looked up and said, “I’m going to miss her.” She agreed that she would miss me, too, and they took turns petting each other’s hair and telling each other that it would be all right and basically helping each other through the moment. I was moved to tears and almost am again just recounting the story. One, I would have expected it to be the other way around, that he would have lost her, and two, well, it’s good that he did not just shut down on her but instead actually shared his feelings and the moment and it’s a huge step and tells me that even in the midst of the chaos and the Lotsness of it all, they probably will be okay.

Until next time, whenever I manage to steal a few minutes again, here’s to hoping you know where your flashlight is…

Having so many things trying to come out of your head at once that you can’t fucking sort them out for more than three seconds before losing them again. That is really fucking annoying. Also annoying is getting wrapped up in current events to the point that you want to go ballistic on every stupid person that you meet. There’s a cartoon that basically says “can’t sleep, someone on the internet is WRONG” and I’ve felt that way the last couple of days.

Of course some of that is likely trying to avoid a few things but mostly it is simply that blatant idiocy makes my whiskers twitch. Blatantly misinforming the public to get them riled up ticks me off. Ignoring the facts of a situation makes me want to beat people with a clue by four and have done with it. I can’t do any of those things, so I have been doing what I can: combating it post by post on Facebook. See, the whole “putting a mosque at Ground Zero is immoral and inhumane” is making me grind my teeth.

Why?

1. It isn’t a mosque, it’s a community center.
2. It’s not AT Ground Zero. It’s 2 blocks from Ground Zero. (There are strip clubs and bars closer for all of you “sacred ground” arguers.)
3. OMFGBBQ WHAT GIVES PEOPLE WHY ARE YOU BEING SO DUMB?! Do you really believe that they are going to train the next generation of terrorists in NYC? Probably not. It’d be easier to do it in a few other places where people would never think to look.
4. Seriously, inhumane and immoral? WHAT THE HELL?! No one has been able to give me a successful explanation of this one. Inhumane, seriously?! Everyone wants to go all eleventy-one-one about it but no one wants to actually talk like rational adults about it.

So, see, it’s kind of driving me up a wall. Unfortunately, that’s also making it hard to think about anything else (see above: someone on the internet is wrong) and you understand why I frequently avoid paying attention to current events. I despise the current trend of scare tactics, buzz words, and misinformation being the name of the game. I hate that people do not realize that EVERY media outlet has an agenda and I certainly dislike that most people can’t be arsed to go do research for themselves. It doesn’t take much to find out information about the community center that people want to build. It doesn’t take long to figure out where it is and that you cannot actually see the damn thing from Ground Zero. Why is this such a difficult concept?

Oh, right, because people would far rather let someone else think for them than for them to think for themselves.

Just a Few Notes

Wow, what a crazy few days! There have been so many highs that I can’t figure out where to start. There also have been a fair number of lows and I’m not sure how to handle some of those either. I’m going to try to make myself a brief outline that I can come back to later while I wait for Rin to finish beachcombing. (The sun was a bit much for me after our earlier stint.)

Tuesday, 10 August 2010
– Trip Prep and other Chaos
– Angry Mama-ness

Wednesday, 11 August 2010
– Travel Day: Chaos of getting things ready
– The Drive to Orlando
– Getting to the hotel
– Bad IHOP, no Cookie

Thursday, 12 August 2010
– Getting to the convention center
– OMG the Convention Center is EPIC-sized
– OMG we walked about a mile to get to the entrance
– Volunteer sign-in
– Getting to the kids’ room
– Chaos of face-painting, day 1
– Hanging out at the hotel

Friday, 13 August 2010
– Day Two Dawns
– OMFG so busy all freakin’ day
– Dear parents, we’re volunteers not hired hands
– Dear Papa John’s teenage worker, you suck
– Dear parents, part 2
– So tired at the end of the day

Saturday, 14 August 2010
– Day Three: The Force Will Be With Us or We WILL Bring It
– Better organization despite insanity (aka omg George Lucas is here today and so are 29481294829 other people)
– Awesome Storm Trooper with Pink Armor
– Plans change from dinner and resting to “Let’s go to Hollywood Studios”
– Last Tour to Endor (like 3 posts in one almost right there)
– SO TIRED WOW

Sunday, 15 August 2010
– A late start (half on purpose, half not)
– CRAZYNESS
– YOU MORONS THE ROOM CLOSED AT 3
– Really? No shirts for us?
– Really? No swag for us?
– Who did we piss off so much?
– Oh, hmm, maybe we didn’t
– Oh good, so glad we found Kristen later
– Uno’s and Sarah
– Hanging out in the hotel room

Monday, 16 August 2010
– Craziness of getting ready to go
– Why are outlet malls so exhausting?
– Mom’s Birthday
– Failed attempts to go shoe shopping
– Uno’s and Sarah, night 2
– “Let’s go to the beach”
– Driving to St. Augustine
– Sweet talking the hotel guy

Tuesday, 17 August 2010
– *mumblemumbledonotwanttowakeupmumblemumble*
– Heading to the beach
– Playing in the ocean
– Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Hello, sunburn
– Hanging out in the lobby while Rin goes beachcombing trying to catch up on FB

As you can see, I have QUITE a bit to write about. There are some pictures but nowhere near so many as I would have liked. We really just didn’t have time. We painted over 20 hours the four days of the convention and that time doesn’t count all of the setting up and cleaning up each day. Sunday was a fairly emotional day that all worked out in the end. Saturday was kind of insane simply because we went nuts and went to the Last Tour to Endor event at Hollywood Studios. Everytime someone has asked us how the covention was, our reply has been, “Well, we’ve heard rumors that there were really awesome things, but we mostly saw pieces of the exhibitor’s hall, the bathrooms, and oh, yeah, the kids’ room!”

We DID have a lot of fun and have found some much needed relaxation time in the middle of everything, mostly at the end of the convention and here on our spontaneous vacation. At the moment though, I have to go because we have to get back to Atlanta…but first I have to go hunt up my lost beachcomber. 😀

So, as a reference, largely for myself, I’m starting this at 2:44am. I have no idea how long it will take me to finish it or what I will actually manage to get out of my head while I’m also doing other things. It should be either very entertaining or will be a post chalked up to, “Well, I can’t read all of it.” Who knows?

My last post was a bit out of timeline to what I wanted; however, I suppose that is the way things work sometimes. I was actually going to make a post about the crazy drive down and all of that fun stuff and then go from there. Now, I’m backtracking and since I can’t be arsed at the moment to go see what I have or have not written about as that would only be one more way to stall, I’m just going to write what comes to mind and ask for forgiveness if I repeat myself. Hell, I do it all the time when I talk, so why would anyone be surprised that I might do so here?

The Drive Down
We left a lot later than we had wanted to and while most of the time that really doesn’t matter, this time it did since we were playing beat the clock seeing as how I had an 8:40am doctor’s appointment with Dr. Rainwater. The reason for said appointment is that while the previous week, I had felt a bit more puny than normal and was having congestion issues, they had largely gone away. Cue two days before we have to head to Georgia when it all comes back with a raging vengeance, stabbing ear pain of death and all. Fun times, let me tell you. So, I called and got the appointment because once it hits that point, ignoring it is dumb.

I drive like a bat out of hell anyway, but let me tell you I think I may have tried to break the sound barrier a couple of times on the way down. Really, I’m mostly kidding. I tend to drive a bit fast at times but try not to be that jackass because I hate that jackass. 😀 However, there was a large stretch of time once we got into the mountains that I was trying to get as much fast driving in as possible considering I was watching some pretty impressive storms on the horizon. Coincidentally, once we started into the mountains, any doubt I had had that I might have a sinus infection (which weren’t very strong doubts to begin with) were tossed out the window because oh my goddess that was kind of painful. I endured and actually managed to get a hell of a lot further into the drive on I-75 before we hit the rain. Unfortunately, we hit the rain near the top of the mountains and it wasn’t a light rain, oh no, it was “OH MY FUCKING GOD I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING” rain that was tension-inducing followed by “Wow, I miss the rain because this fog is so thick I REALLY can’t see anything so the not-see-anything-rain was much better” fog of foggiest DOOM. Seriously, going 40mph through that was pushing it given the visibility levels. THAT was frustrating.

We finally cleared that section and I actually managed to get us just outside of Knoxville before I had to wave the white flag. I probably should have stopped sooner, but I was trying to let Rin get as much of a nap as she could given that I figured we were in for a bit of a long day anyway. We traded off and I dozed off and on until we got to Cartersville where we actually made it to the office about 15 minutes before the appointment. What I will say is this: taking 75 down instead of 65 makes a HUGE difference in one’s ability to make good time and I vastly prefer that route.

At the Doctor
Dr. R was actually not running late yet which was really nice given that I had all of no desire to be there in the first place. He actually said the problem with my ear was less infection and more the fluid build up behind it. I suspect that Rin having cleaned out my ears with peroxide two days before had helped with a fair bit of that. He also said that my lungs didn’t sound awful which was also good news. However, yes, I very much did need the antibiotic-prednisone combo, so we went for Doxycycline this time since it’s been awhile since I’ve had it.

We also had to take a little bit of extra time getting him to rewrite most of my PRNs* to better fit Target and Walgreen’s’ low cost prescription requirements. It will, at least for now, make for getting most of them a hell of a lot cheaper. There are still a couple that are impossible to get more cheaply, but saving on the rest will definitely help. It also helps that whole guilt thing, too.

So, yes, antibiotics, steroids, and new scripts and we were on our way again.

Picking up Miss Ma’am
From the doctor, we made a quick trip to the grocery store to get eggs and bacon so Mom could make breakfast for them and brunch for us. Well, she made eggs for her, K, and Rin. I can’t have them thanks to an annoying food intolerance. I had bacon and english muffins. We got there and I went o_O at my child who decided to grow at least an inch in the three weeks since I’d seen her. I was quite glad to give her lots of squishes and was reminded all over again just how much I had missed her.

We actually had a fairly nice visit though Mom was fairly emotional. That much I had expected. She had had K for three weeks and having her leave was going to be hard. I had thought that she and I had actually had a decent conversation and that she had actually started to believe me when I told her that things really were going to be okay. In retrospect, I suppose we probably did have the conversations I thought we had and I probably did get her to listen, but then we left and the house was all quiet and she started to think and that’s how Saturday happened.

Oh, yes, while I was there, I helped her get the flea medicine on the cats and give a couple of them Capstar pills. THAT was SO much fun! *groan* There are a couple of the crazy heathens that you have to do at the same time because once they smell the flea drops, they hide. So, she took Mara and I took Lain and then the fun began. It actually went a lot better than it has other times in the past. Some days it involves chasing the cats all over the house. The Capstar pills were actually the hardest part and two of the ones who really needed it managed to either keep it from going down their throat (George) or barfed it up (Aramis). I didn’t actually get scratched, but Mom took a couple of scratches and a glancing puncture bite from George’s huge freakin’ teeth.

The Rest of Thursday
We left Cartersville and headed toward Lilburn. We had to go to a Target on the way and we really had no desire to get stuck in traffic. Traffic sucks. We actually realized there is a Target on La Vista which is only a couple of exits from 78, so that’s where we got the meds filled. The pharmacist and the tech that were on duty while we were there totally rocked. I screwed up and gave them a script that was supposed to be filled at Walgreen’s because it was cheaper: instead of undoing it and giving me the script back, the pharmacist found the cheaper price, printed off the proof, and filled it at the Walgreen’s price. That was pretty freaking awesome.

As we waited for those to get filled, we took K over to the girls’ clothes and checked the $5 polos on her. I’m glad that we did. The size that we had thought she needed was wrong. Also? It was cool because they actually HAD the size we needed which had been a problem up in South Bend. We got her 2 white and 2 navy since they were in the cut that looked good, the nicer fabric, and were on sale. Huzzah for that. We grabbed a few other odds and ends and then made our way to Chris and Troy’s. By that point, I was ready to fall on my face for sure.

That, however, was not to be as I realized that something had been fucking up with Paypal and my old KSU bank account…to the tune of $104 in overdraft fees. I called and talked to the fucking bank for an hour and a half and I still have to deal with Paypal and hope that disputing the claims with KSU One will actually get me somewhere. What I don’t understand is that given that no money ever left the bank – they didn’t float the subscription payment and wait for me to pay them back – why they won’t take the fees off since it was a fuckup on Paypal’s part and not mine. Of course convincing Paypal that they fucked up is another matter entirely. *sighs* Like I have a spare $104.

After that I honestly can’t remember what all we did. I know that it was a fairly early night for bed, that’s for sure.

Friday Dawns
I wasn’t overly coherent when I woke up on Friday but there were some things that needed doing. I had missed a call from the secretary at Hamilton and she was on lunch when I called her back. I waited for her to return my call before taking a nap again. That makes the most awesome thing that I may say in this post: WE GOT IN! They have a third grade slot that now has K’s name on it! *Insert Snoopy Dance Here* I was over the moon excited and K is, too, at this point.

Rin and I were both a bit sad because we had wanted to go to Lake Winnie with the kids, but there’s no way we could have. I was too sick and she wasn’t feeling much better herself. We sent them all off late morning and didn’t see them again until after midnight. They had a fantastic time, though, which was totally awesome.

For the most part, she and I did a few things but not very much at all. We did make a late grocery store run and we had pizza for dinner. She worked on some laundry and we did a few other things but, yeah, exhaustion is a real bitch. Unfortunately, I had missed a call from Mom somewhere in all of it and didn’t find the voicemail until late. She was wanting to have dinner on Saturday instead of Sunday or Monday like we had previously discussed, which was mildly annoying, but workable.

Then Comes Saturday
(Time check-in: 3:30am)
I didn’t wake up until around 2. I called Mom back not terribly long after that. She was not in a good place and I knew it from minute one. She even said as much. She mentioned that Saturday would be more convenient for having dinner but that she wasn’t in a good place so it probably wasn’t a good idea. I was working on getting off the phone after having made plans for Sunday and I said “I love you” and she started crying and said that she loved me too but wished that she didn’t because it hurt so much. I didn’t have a whole lot to say to that one because, really, what do you say to that?

Unfortunately, the conversation deteriorated from there. She started dredging things up and hastily ticked off my father who was in the room with her. She added to that when she said that she thought she had had a mini-stroke at Walmart on Friday night but that she hadn’t told him about it because she had already worried him enough when she had gotten home from the store, dropped her bags in the middle of the floor, and had sobbed for fifteen minutes straight. *sighs* She really has got to knock that shit off. He is going to become more and more tired of it and then she is more and more going to get the annoyed/pissed off reactions from him. It’s a vicious chain but she should know it by now. Of course, the cynical part of me points out that she couldn’t play the poor pitiful me game without doing it the way she does it so…I dunno.

Basically, there was a lot of rehashing of the same old crap. She doesn’t understand why I am taking K away. She doesn’t understand why I left in the first place. She doesn’t think things were that bad before I left. She thinks I left because of my relationship with Rin. She thinks that my “lifestyle” that I am taking K into is a bad one and that it was healthier there, etc, etc, etc. There were the accusations and the half-truths and the “you always do this always-never thing” and “why are you so defensive” and all of the other things that are the typical Passive-Agressive Bingo markers. When she was finally finished, I asked to talk to Dad and that went over SO well let me tell you.

I burst into tears because he hit a tone that I’ve not heard in months and that set me even more on edge and upset. I asked him a few questions and told him about K getting into Hamilton. I had wanted to tell him at dinner but since I didn’t know if that was going to happen, yeah, well, he had been excited by the thought, too, so I wanted him to know. I also found out that K had been telling people that she did not want to move at all which meant that there was a conversation that needed to happen there, too. Basically, I asked him to see if he could get her to settle and figure out if we were still on for dinner on Sunday or if we weren’t. I wasn’t going to make a decision just then, in part because I kind of wanted to see my Dad.

I got off the phone and had a meltdown. That was fun. Thankfully, K was in the shower while all of that was going on.

Talking to Eight Year Olds About Big Scary Things is Big and Scary
Rin and I sat her down and we were asking her a few questions. She started to get upset, but I needed to get her to talk to me again. It had been a little while since we had really sat down and talked about moving, so I wanted to see where she was in her head. Basically, she is understandably scared and is understandably going to miss people; however, she is not completely against the idea. There are things that she is very much looking forward to.

I told her that it was perfectly all right and normal to be those things but that I needed her to talk to me about them, too. I explained that people thought that she really, really did not want to go and that I am being completely unfair by taking her so far away and I told her that maybe instead of saying that she does not want to move, to try explaining the “I’m scared” part. I also told her that we’re a team and that I need her to not just talk to me about the happy, fun things, but also the big scary things, too.

She got upset a few times however it was a really good conversation. It was also a bit enlightening. I did explain to her that I trust her and I trust that when she tells me the things that she does that I am taking her at her word. I want her to understand that telling the truth is important and I’m pretty sure I got that message across, too. We gave her snuggles and got her settled and talked to her about a few other things, too. Rin cracked her up by calling her Robin to my Batman.

The whole world may go crazy around me, but I’m pretty sure that my kiddo is going to be okay. I just have to get us moved and get her settled into a new routine first…then I don’t think it will be near so overwhelming for her.

After the Emotional Roller Coaster
I say after, but really it was after the worst of it was over to be perfectly honest, we started trying to make plans for the rest of the day. We had been contemplating going to Parish and Lennetta’s pool party, but Doxy and Prednisone plus my normal Relafen are all “avoid direct sunlight” type medicines and Doxy really doesn’t lie with that one and since being in the water would only exacerbate that and since it was almost 100 degrees out we decided it wasn’t the best idea. Also, we had been wanting to get together with Claudia, MichaelAngelo, and D on whichever day we weren’t heading to Cartersville, so that was the plan we ultimately made.

Rin made me yummy ramen with veggies and made certain I had enough food to take medicines with and then we finished getting ready to head out. We left a bit later than we had wanted, but it kind of worked out because Claudia didn’t get back with D until a little bit before we got there. Of course, part of the extra time was that the Dekalb Farmer’s Market on Saturday is a black hole. Seriously, I think I hate going there on Saturday and would like to avoid it at all costs. But, we needed to get some fruit for our contribution to dinner and I wanted asparagus because I’ve been craving it lately and have had fuck all luck finding it most places, so off to the market we went. We made some great finds and also stocked up on water for Orlando.

Hanging out with them was very awesome. Dad did call while we were getting ready to eat dinner and explained that his option had come to “you can take them out to dinner somewhere else” and while he had considered it, he decided that rescheduling might be the better option. Indeed. It would bite everyone on the ass, him especially since he has to live with her. I also was not going to try to explain to K why her Gamma wasn’t there. Thanks, but no. So, he and I talked for a few minutes and he was in a much better mood than he had been the night before and I was glad of -that- for sure.

Dinner was amazing barbecue that MA cooked with an interesting side of greens and asparagus. It was yummy. Gino ate with us and I had fun talking with him while he was hanging out. He’s a pretty neat dude. One of Claudia’s friends whose name is totally escaping me now also came over for a bit. She was pretty funny and definitely had a few neat stories of her own.

We ended up tucking all three kids to bed in D’s room so that the grown-ups could have adult talking time (and also because they were just all that tired). In the end, we ended up staying the night because Rin and I were both wiped and even though the drive isn’t that long, we really didn’t want to wake the kids up and, well, MA did say he’d make pancakes. 😀 I had a surprisingly good night of sleep for it being the first day of 60mg of Prednisone and for sleeping in a recliner. I don’t normally manage that one well but it kind of worked out and that was totally awesome.

Hello, Sunday
The kids woke up before nine loaded for bear. *laughs* We kept trying to shush them and finally gave up and sent them to play outside for a bit before it got ridiculously hot. I dozed off and on on the sofa until Claudia woke up. By that point, Rin was making toast for me and the squirts out of challah bread from the market which I ❤ so much, and was also making sure the kiddos ate fruit, too. However, what was totally adorable was that Rin made the kids plane toast. We had two kinds of challah bread, plain and raisin, and she asked which they wanted. D thought she meant AIRPLANE and that’s what he wanted, so she made little airplane designs out of cinnamon on some of the pieces and D thought it was AWESOME. I’m pretty sure K and F did, too! MA woke up a bit after that and started work on the pancakes which the kids devoured. I actually thought they were pretty awesome, too, and I don’t normally eat pancakes. 😀

It was a fairly laid back morning outside of a phone call from Mom that I decided to answer later. She left a rather flat voicemail and wanted to know if that day was going to be the only one where she could see K or if she would get to see her before we went back up to Indiana. I decided to wait to answer it until we were back in Lilburn in part because I was irked and in part because I didn’t want K to overhear.

Unfortunately, we had to leave before we really wanted to. F had a birthday party to attend, so we had to get him home for that. K was a bit bummed since the party was at Chuck E. Cheese’s; however, Troy took her anyway, so that was pretty cool.

I did call Mom back and explained that I had told her that if we did not see her this weekend that we would get together with them before we headed back up and she said, “Yes, but that was before yesterday.” Well, yes it was, but that doesn’t change the fact that it will likely happen. Jeezus. She tried to get into a few more things and I was like, “No. Just no.” I wasn’t in the mood for it, I didn’t have the energy for it, and there’s no real point in it.

Essentially, I am breaking her heart into pieces and she doesn’t understand why. She doesn’t think that it’s fair that I am taking K away since she built her whole life around us. I actually would put some argument into that one. Part of the reason that she did that is true: it was about me and K. Some of it, though, is that she turned into damn near an agrophobe and quit going anywhere and doing anything and had no real idea where to start. She doesn’t have friends who are nearby; she doesn’t want to make them from the suggestions that I’ve offered. She wants K and I to be there and that’s that. *sighs* It’s not going to happen that way, but she doesn’t believe it.

She also wanted to know if she could have K for the weekend since Rin and I will be in Orlando. I told her “I don’t know” instead of my first thought of “oh hell no.” She asked why I didn’t know and I explained that I didn’t want to leave K with her with the headspace she is in. She tried to tell me that she isn’t in that space when she has K with her; however, I have seen her be in that space with K with her and I know better. So, the answer was I don’t know. She found herself about one more push from, “If you are pushing me to answer you right now, the answer is a definite no.” *headshake* Not playing that game right now. I don’t have to.

I went to take a nap after that because I was exhausted. The meds are running me all over the place as far as that goes which is never fun. When I woke up, Rin and I coordinated with Parish to meet him at the new Goodwill at Perimeter Center. Troy (gods love him) still had the kids at Chuck E. Cheese, so Rin and I headed over and were pleased to find Lennetta there, too. We actually got really lucky in a few of our finds, including three khaki skirts for K, a pair of pants for me, a comfy dress for Rin, a couple of other odds and ends, and an OMFG SO ADORABLE jacket that makes me look like a purple penguin. It is one of the puffy down type coats and comes to my bloody ankles and oh my gosh it is awesome. The fact that it cost me less than $8 is also incredibly awesome. Oh, yeah, and we got one of the original Nintendo DS’s for about $30 and that was with the Guitar Hero game and controller. We aren’t sure if it works or not; we need to find a charger for it, but it was still a pretty wicked deal, particularly with the Guitar Hero bit.

Once we finished, we touched base with Chris who said that the kids were fine and that Troy had survived the party but was taking a nap and that yes, we were fine to go hang out with Parish and Lennetta for awhile. We headed over to their apartment and L was quite happy because she had Rin there to teach her how to make Shepherd’s Pie which is one of her specialties. They had a blast in the kitchen while Parish introduced me to Boom Blox Bash Party for Wii. That game is totally awesome and frustrating at the same time. He pointed out that it is great for aggression and also for driving one to drink. *laughs* I actually drove him to drink in one part! It was kind of funny.

We played that game for hours and the poor man was falling on his face by the time we finally left; however, it was a fucking awesome night for all of is. I wish I had jotted down a few of the better one line comments that parts of the game inspired, because really, some of the characters make you say the damndest things. Hell, half the fun in some places is seeing how many of the crazy little critters you can blow up! It certainly does make you feel better to send the crazy cows or the snark raccoon flying with a bowling ball or a bomb. One line that definitely stuck with me was the pirate chickens though. Parish told L that yes, they do in fact lay bombs as eggs and carry swords and the fits of giggles -that- inspired were pretty epic.

I do believe that game will have to be one we invest in once we get the Wii set up in Indiana. Bwahahahahaha!

It was a very good night with awesome food and even more awesome company and wrapped up the weekend rather nicely.

Oh, Monday, You Are So Fickle
Today has sucked. I have spent most of the time I’ve been awake trying to decide if I really do want to throw up given that I certainly was naseous enough for it. I made a couple of mistakes with the order that I took meds in this afternoon and have paid for it all day. We went to dinner at Golden Corral and I didn’t make it through one plate before I was wishing I hadn’t eaten anything and the poor kids kept getting fussed at bit for telling me about some of their weird food combos because just the sight of food was making me feel worse and, well, they are creative. I rode home with my hands over my eyes so that I didn’t hurl in the car…it was THAT bad.

I was going to lay down and let Rin and K go run a couple of errands but we got started sorting out a few things (like which errands needed running) and watching Phineas and Ferb’s summer special which was pretty epic itself. 😀 That was freaking hilarious. While we were doing that, Rin also showed me how to make Lego Leia and General Kenobi on our helpful models. I took pics but will have to upload them later.

Rin finally did take K to the store while F was going to bed. She wouldn’t have taken her; however, since part of the errand was to check on the uniform items on sale at Wal-mart, she kind of had to go. While they went, I laid down because I still felt pretty wretched. A lot.

With all of that going on, I had forgotten that Mom had called asking to talk to K about something they had discussed previously. I honestly had forgotten about it because I’d felt like shit but her one line FB message reminded me. At that point I also realized that it was pretty late and that Rin and K weren’t back yet so I got a bit worried before I finally got her on the phone. She got home and made me more ramen and helped me take medicines and basically took care of me. I sent Mom a short reply that basically ticked off the highlights of why I’d forgotten but she’ll probably think it was me avoiding her. Whatever. I still don’t feel all that great and don’t know that I overly care just this second. Will I later? Probably. Now? Nah.

Heading for the Harbor or Something Like That
As it stands, it’s 4:18 and Rin’s been asleep on the couch for about an hour now. We really need to go to bed, but I got started writing and it has taken a fair bit to put all of the pieces together and considering that I quit futzing with FB things to focus on it and it STILL took this long might say something towards how much I needed to get the details sorted.

At any rate, I really do need to wrap up because it is incredibly late and I’m exhausted and today is going to be a long day. I have more face painting things to learn, we have to make certain that everything is packed and in the car ready to go, and you know, actually sleep at some point, too. Fun, fun, fun. We are heading out at some point in the likely pre-dawn hours Wednesday because we have a meeting we have to attend at 5:30pm in Orlando. I am both excited and nervous about this and just hope that I don’t totally screw up. Or barf.

Also, we are still debating the Last Tour to Endor. Hollywood Studios teamed up with the convention and are having a special event to help kick off the last rides on Star Tours before it is revamped and there is a special event that will have that park open for Celebration guests from like 8pm to 1am which is pretty cool. However, it costs $75 each…but that is my favorite park and one of hers, too. We will likely not do it, but damn do we both want to.

Also still up for debate but perhaps a bit less than before thanks to a couple of ideas Parish had is Dragon*Con. The lure of Misty and Larry is great…and so is the whole anniversary celebration thing and the seeing people we like thing. We still have to think about it and work a few more kinks out and also, to be perfectly honest, see how we feel after Celebration, but it is seeming like more of a yes than a no at the moment.

Ah well, ’tis time to sleep, I hope. I have more to say but have lost all sense of coherency in my head and am, therefore, done.

End time: 4:23am

*PRN stands for pro re nata in Latin which means “in the circumstances” or “as the circumstances arise.” It is the medical term for medications like pain medications or anti-nausea meds that a person takes “as needed.” I do occasionally toss out a few medical terms like that and try to explain them when I do. If you have a question, do feel free to ask. Some of them I grew up with because Mom worked in the hospital for 14 years. Others I have learned since becoming a spoonie. PRN is one I use all the time and forget that not everyone knows what it is.

*insert headdesk here*

So, remember how I said we had a lot to do today? Yeah, we got next to nothing done. Why? Because we had a storm sit on top of us for four to five hours this morning and the pressure that had been building behind my right ear turned into full on stabbing with referral pain across my jaw and into my already throbbing sinus cavities. So, poor Rin had to take care of me and help find ways to get me to stop whimpering. The steps involved were fixing me food, retrieving medicine, finding a hot pack and tucking me up into bed. After a couple of hours, I was feeling a little better, but still not quite up to doing anything, so she got me more medicine and things. It was mid-afternoon before I was actually ready to go do anything and that doing simply involved running a couple of errands to get the paint supplies we need for Celebration so that she can get the receipts to the person who needs them and to get a couple of my medicines refilled.

We came back to the house in between running one more errand and picking up the medicines. After we got home, she cleaned out my ears with peroxide which can help if there is extra wax built up. She was peering down my ear canal with a mag lite and was like, “Your ear looks gicky.” Yep, that’s the official term. She managed to get a little bit of stuff out but there is apparently a spot in my ear that looks ridiculously not happy and it hurt like a mother fucker when she touched it with the Q-tip. So…odds are fair that I do, in fact, have a fucking ear infection. Joy. After the peroxide dried out she put in Similasan Children’s Earache Relief drops which shockingly do help. I prefer the children’s version to the adult version since they have one more pain reliever in them. She actually ended up putting them in both ears, so I’ve been sitting here for the past few hours with two cotton balls in my ears which has made for some interesting points in time of trying to figure out what Rin and Tadhg were saying. Woops.

Of course, she and I were getting ready to head to bed since we really have to head down south tomorrow but have to do stuff in the morning first, but Tadhg has been chatty, so he and I have been talking while she’s been sleeping in the recliner…of course that means that I lost the train of thought I had when I started this and have no idea if any of it makes sense. The summation is: today has been filled with me being sick as all hell and wanting my ear to not hurt and getting almost nothing done and Rin being awesome and taking care of me. The end.

Oh! Also, ya’ll might be doomed now that WordPress has phone posting capabilities. It could potentially make for either really entertaining posts when I am in traffic or me babbling at random…or nothing at all. I was thinking it would be cool for driving tomorrow; however, if I don’t feel any better, I don’t foresee me being all “Hi WORLD how are you?!” But we’ll see…It could make for some entertaining times.

So, after finishing the last post, I actually did manage to help Rin get a few more things done tonight. Largely, we made certain that all of the trash that we had gathered from various cleaning stages made it into the trash cans so that they make it down to the street in the morning for trash day. However, after a bit, we both kind of hit the point of having done way too much.

She has actually (sensibly) gone to bed at this point; however, I am not quite ready to. For one thing, I had my Dad on my mind quite a lot and instead of just keeping that particular thought to myself, I sat down and wrote him a rather long e-mail. He and I have (at least as far as I have seen) gotten a lot closer in the last seven months and have had some amazing conversations. We’ve not had a chance to sit and chat on the phone of late, so I caught him up on a few things. I also made the note for him that considering that I know how much he just loves the phone and how I am prone to babbling at least with e-mail, if he gets bored he can come back and read it later!

I will probably head to bed soon, but I can’t quite sort what is keeping me awake which is annoying the crap out of me considering that I am exhausted beyond all reason at this point. I suspect that some of it is that pain levels have ramped again which sucks ass. I also suspect that some of it is that the next three weeks are going to be full of mad chaos and I’m not entirely certain I am totally up for that much chaos and yet I have to be. It’s not like it’s going to be swept under the rug, ya know? Some of it will be good. Some of it will be downright draining. I just have to figure out how to maintain a balance through all of it.

I imagine that a small bit of it is also that I am eager to have my daughter with me again. This is the longest that she has ever been away from me at one time and while I know that she has had a fantastic time and has gotten to do a lot of different things (like fishing), I miss her so freaking much it almost hurts. I miss her chatter. I miss hearing her playing in the background of whatever else I am doing. I miss her hugs. All of them. I don’t call her my snugglebum for nothing. I want her back with me and am getting more than a bit antsy about that.

Other than those things, I still have no idea why I can’t quite get my brain to shut off. I do think I might possibly be running out of words that seem to be intent upon being written though, so I am going to stop rambling, wrap up a couple of other things, and at least try to go to bed. (It’s definitely time for bed. I had to edit that last html tag because instead of closing the italics, I wrote / try. Needless to say, it didn’t work. :D)

Edited to Add (about an hour later): So I went back and typed up two entries that were missing, one from 16 July and one from 29 July. I also added tags to posts and went a bit nuts with that which was kind of fun actually. Jeez. Now it’s 4:09 in the morning. Ghf.

My Birthday and the Days Following
So, since last I left off, I had a birthday. I am now 29 for anyone curious. For a starter celebration on Friday, Rin made me cupcakes and we took them to the SCA work group that meets at a park. It was really kinda neat to hang out with new friends and talk about random things and just have fun. After that, a smaller group of us went to a Chinese restaurant where I was able to appease my lo mein craving and, in general, have a great time chatting with really cool people. The Baroness for this area is really fucking awesome and the more that I get to know her, the more that 1) I realize that she and I think a lot alike and 2) I really want to get to know her even more. Her husband is pretty awesome, too. The fact that they have a son a couple of years older than K is also pretty cool.

Heck, there are several really cool people in the group that I’ve had a great time just hanging out and talking to which is making me much less nervous about the whole SCA thing in general. I do know one thing, well, two things: one, K is super excited about it all and two, she’s gonna be pretty mad when she finds out that Rin and I had birthday cupcakes with the SCA. Woops. 😀

I actually had a really good day in spite of having slept through most of it. (Extra pain meds the night before due to the craptastic storm front that came through kind of helped with that.) We had dinner with Tadhg’s parents and his aunt, uncle, and cousin at Doc Pierce’s which was kind of neat looking. It’s an old style pub type place. The food was all right; I suspect that I would have enjoyed a couple of other things better; however, it was still pretty good.

After that, Rin and I lived the wild party life with a trip to Old Navy to check out their clearance and the kids’ polos followed by ice cream sundaes at McDonald’s. I know what you’re thinking: why the fuck did you go to McD’s for ice cream? Well, that’s simple: getting one of the dollar sundaes with caramel and hot fudge is pretty yummy and was just enough of a treat for after dinner. From there, we headed home and did a few things around here. Actually she did most of the things, and I played Lego Harry Potter on the DS. 😀

Sunday was a fairly low-key day which included a trip to Target (again to check polos) and ended up with a rain-check for girls’ polos, new laundry baskets, a new toilet seat, and a couple of other odds and ends. See how exciting we are?

Today has perhaps been the busier day thus far. We went to Hamilton Traditional School hoping to find out if we even had a snowball’s chance in hell of getting her in. The secretary was quite honest and said she was not certain and likely would not have an answer until the end of the week; however, she did say that she would call and let me know, even if it was just to say she wasn’t certain yet. The short version is that they do applications in the winter, and in March, when they made their decisions, all the slots were full (well obviously since that’s what they were doing); however, they sometimes make exceptions for students who move in from out of state depending on class size and other factors. So…the answer is maybe. Either way, she is not officially registered with SBSCS, so that’s one more thing done.

The next stop was lunch at Pizza Hut which was kind of a mistake. The lunch buffet was pretty terrible and they failed to tell us when we walked in at 1:23 that the buffet ended at 1:30 which meant that nothing was really replaced. The food also kind of made both of us feel like crap so, I don’t think we’ll be going back there. About the only thing I really managed to succeed at was giving myself a SPECTACULAR bruise on my hand when I was walking in the door. How cool is that?

In terms of writing things off the list of things to do, we also went to the Post Office so that I could fill out change of address forms for K and myself. It wasn’t a major thing on the list, but it was a fairly large step all the same that didn’t entirely catch up to me until we were in the middle of Meijer getting the things we needed for dinner. Yes, the moving prep has been “real” all along, but there were two rather large things done to make it more so this afternoon.

After the brief lots of that moment, I got dragged through the shoe section since Rin noticed that they had sneakers on clearance. I’ve been looking for a supportive pair of sneakers for over a year now. This endeavor is harder than you might think. For a start, I really don’t want white ones because they don’t match anything I wear normally. There are other reasons that I won’t go into, but it’s really not a preference. Have you ever gone athletic shoe shopping in the women’s section? MOST of the sneakers are white with pastels. It’s annoying.

That said, I put on my game face and actually tried on a couple of pairs because I really need more supportive shoes before working Celebration. In what is perhaps the best stroke of luck I’ve had in the shopping department lately, I actually found a pair that fit…and were comfortable. At first I was whining because “something felt weird under my arch” to which I was informed that was “the arch support, you know, that thing you need.” >_> Have I mentioned that I’m a stubborn pain in the ass? Yeah, I totally am. However, I have a cool new pair of sneakers that are comfortable and aren’t white so that’s something, eh?

On Family
In the middle of trying to finish up testing said sneakers, I checked my phone to find a voicemail from Mom asking about school clothes for K. Well, that’s still a bit up in the air since Hamilton uses uniforms. I called her back to chat and tell her that and…knew something wasn’t right from the get-go. She just sounded odd. *faint sigh* I wasn’t wrong. She is not handling the move thing very well at all. I’m somewhat frustrated because while I understand her upset and the feelings behind it, I don’t entirely understand the sense of “I’m losing you forever,” because it’s ridiculous. It is not like I am taking her grandchild to Siberia; it is not like we are dying. We’re moving across the country; people do it all the time. No, we won’t be just a couple of hours away. Yes, she’s going to have to go longer between visits. I know it will be hard. It will be hard for K. Hell, she doesn’t believe it, but it’s hard for me, too. I’m leaving everything I’ve ever known to chase what I want. Am I doing it the way she wants? No. Am I doing it the way most people do? Probably not. But I’m still doing it: I’m doing something to chase down what I want. I’m making certain that my daughter is being taken care of in the process. That should COUNT for something, and yet it doesn’t seem to. Add in the kerfluffle she is having with my little brother at the moment and you get a recipe for a lot of upset and crying.

I truly do understand the stress of the situation. I understand that she is upset and never really thought that I’d move so far away. I also know that I’m not doing this thing out of spite or out of some deep-seated desire to torment her from now til kingdom come. I know that she doesn’t understand this and doesn’t believe it when I say it. I know she thinks it’s the worst idea ever. I’m sorry she feels that way. I’m sorry she thinks I am trying to break her heart. *sighs* I’m sorry that I am frustrated that her continuing to be so upset and “I am losing you and K” at me is leaving me in tears at the grocery store, but it is.

I know that she’ll either grok it or she won’t. I just wish she weren’t hell bent on seeing it as the biggest mistake that I could possibly make or as some damned plot against her.

And that’s enough about that right now…

In the Coming Days
We have a crap ton of stuff to try to get done around here before we drive to Georgia. We were pondering leaving tomorrow night; however, odds are fair that it will more than likely be sometime Wednesday. We need to be there before Friday because Chris and Troy want to take Miss Ma’am and Mr. Monkey to Lake Winnepesaukah which means I really need to retrieve her before that. I know Rin and I have wanted to take them to Lake Winnie for awhile; however, I have no idea if we will be up for going or not. We’re going to have to wait and see.

Plans from when we get to Georgia and Tuesday are still a bit up in the air; however, we need to leave sometime Tuesday night to head to Orlando since there is going to be an Elite Squad meeting sometime Wednesday afternoon. I am actually getting excited about the convention in spite of my reservations and concerns about my ability as a face painter. In the end, we shall see what happens. My biggest wish is that I had a camera to take with us. I may have to see if Troy will entrust me with one of his. o_O Maybe. 😀 I’d hate to break one of his cameras.

We will be getting home likely sometime Monday evening, though I’m not exactly sure when we’ll leave Orlando, etc. I will likely Travel Post to FB like I do for the inter-state drives to let people know what’s going on and where we are and all that fun stuff.

Post Celebration, we will have a few more days in Georgia, but then it will be time to head back up here to start making certain that everything is ready for school to start for Rin and K. I hopefully will also have theoretically applied for the couple of jobs I am looking at and will have word on those. Beyond that? Who knows? *laughs* I’ve barely got a handle on the next three weeks, let alone what comes after.

A Little Bit of Whining
So, I’ve mentioned before that it is unlikely that we will be at D*C this year. At minimum, we are letting Chris and Troy have our room at the Hyatt because we know we cannot afford -that-. So, imagine my utter OHNOEZSOSADWHYYYYYYTHISYEAR response to the news that Mercedes Lackey and Larry Dixon are coming to Dragon*Con for the first time in ten years? Oh yeah. It was pretty epic. I am totally *RAWR* about this, because I know people who know her and Larry personally so the odds of being able to meet her would actually be pretty high. Rin has tossed out the idea of maybe (huge fucking maybe if you ask me) heading out Friday afternoon when K is out of school and driving down. The catch is that we would have to leave, for sure, on Monday to be back Tuesday morning in time for everyone to go to school. It wouldn’t leave a whole lot of time to do anything. Something that may actually lean that into more of a possibility would be the fact that it would give us one more car trip to bring stuff up in. I…am iffy on the idea. It is a really fast turn around and would involve a lot of stress in the execution; however, it would be good to see people and hang out at Con and maybe get to meet someone who created the character that I named my daughter after. *groans* Sometimes being a grown-up sucks!

Bringing the Train into the Station
So I’ve been typing this for awhile now and I am starting to bore myself. I actually have a couple of things that are handwritten that may or may not eventually make it into the backdated archives. Who knows? Sometimes I manage that and sometimes I don’t. *wry grin* That’s just how I roll.

Aside from boring myself, I also have things to do that don’t include rambling on about whatever else falls into my head. You know, like how I didn’t write about the fact that Rin made an amazing dinner of garlic chicken, pasta, and asparagus spears which was really freaking good and she worked hard to make it. 😀 But now I’ve mentioned that and yeah, I am TOTALLY rambling. Also, I think if I scroll back up and add one more thing to the damn list I may shoot myself. Or scream. Or something. So that, as they say, is that.

Well, with one minor addendum. I am contemplating sharing the link to this little writing project of mine with a few other people. If I do, “Hi new people.” If I don’t, well, I’m a chicken shit sometimes. 😀