So, as a reference, largely for myself, I’m starting this at 2:44am. I have no idea how long it will take me to finish it or what I will actually manage to get out of my head while I’m also doing other things. It should be either very entertaining or will be a post chalked up to, “Well, I can’t read all of it.” Who knows?

My last post was a bit out of timeline to what I wanted; however, I suppose that is the way things work sometimes. I was actually going to make a post about the crazy drive down and all of that fun stuff and then go from there. Now, I’m backtracking and since I can’t be arsed at the moment to go see what I have or have not written about as that would only be one more way to stall, I’m just going to write what comes to mind and ask for forgiveness if I repeat myself. Hell, I do it all the time when I talk, so why would anyone be surprised that I might do so here?

The Drive Down
We left a lot later than we had wanted to and while most of the time that really doesn’t matter, this time it did since we were playing beat the clock seeing as how I had an 8:40am doctor’s appointment with Dr. Rainwater. The reason for said appointment is that while the previous week, I had felt a bit more puny than normal and was having congestion issues, they had largely gone away. Cue two days before we have to head to Georgia when it all comes back with a raging vengeance, stabbing ear pain of death and all. Fun times, let me tell you. So, I called and got the appointment because once it hits that point, ignoring it is dumb.

I drive like a bat out of hell anyway, but let me tell you I think I may have tried to break the sound barrier a couple of times on the way down. Really, I’m mostly kidding. I tend to drive a bit fast at times but try not to be that jackass because I hate that jackass. 😀 However, there was a large stretch of time once we got into the mountains that I was trying to get as much fast driving in as possible considering I was watching some pretty impressive storms on the horizon. Coincidentally, once we started into the mountains, any doubt I had had that I might have a sinus infection (which weren’t very strong doubts to begin with) were tossed out the window because oh my goddess that was kind of painful. I endured and actually managed to get a hell of a lot further into the drive on I-75 before we hit the rain. Unfortunately, we hit the rain near the top of the mountains and it wasn’t a light rain, oh no, it was “OH MY FUCKING GOD I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING” rain that was tension-inducing followed by “Wow, I miss the rain because this fog is so thick I REALLY can’t see anything so the not-see-anything-rain was much better” fog of foggiest DOOM. Seriously, going 40mph through that was pushing it given the visibility levels. THAT was frustrating.

We finally cleared that section and I actually managed to get us just outside of Knoxville before I had to wave the white flag. I probably should have stopped sooner, but I was trying to let Rin get as much of a nap as she could given that I figured we were in for a bit of a long day anyway. We traded off and I dozed off and on until we got to Cartersville where we actually made it to the office about 15 minutes before the appointment. What I will say is this: taking 75 down instead of 65 makes a HUGE difference in one’s ability to make good time and I vastly prefer that route.

At the Doctor
Dr. R was actually not running late yet which was really nice given that I had all of no desire to be there in the first place. He actually said the problem with my ear was less infection and more the fluid build up behind it. I suspect that Rin having cleaned out my ears with peroxide two days before had helped with a fair bit of that. He also said that my lungs didn’t sound awful which was also good news. However, yes, I very much did need the antibiotic-prednisone combo, so we went for Doxycycline this time since it’s been awhile since I’ve had it.

We also had to take a little bit of extra time getting him to rewrite most of my PRNs* to better fit Target and Walgreen’s’ low cost prescription requirements. It will, at least for now, make for getting most of them a hell of a lot cheaper. There are still a couple that are impossible to get more cheaply, but saving on the rest will definitely help. It also helps that whole guilt thing, too.

So, yes, antibiotics, steroids, and new scripts and we were on our way again.

Picking up Miss Ma’am
From the doctor, we made a quick trip to the grocery store to get eggs and bacon so Mom could make breakfast for them and brunch for us. Well, she made eggs for her, K, and Rin. I can’t have them thanks to an annoying food intolerance. I had bacon and english muffins. We got there and I went o_O at my child who decided to grow at least an inch in the three weeks since I’d seen her. I was quite glad to give her lots of squishes and was reminded all over again just how much I had missed her.

We actually had a fairly nice visit though Mom was fairly emotional. That much I had expected. She had had K for three weeks and having her leave was going to be hard. I had thought that she and I had actually had a decent conversation and that she had actually started to believe me when I told her that things really were going to be okay. In retrospect, I suppose we probably did have the conversations I thought we had and I probably did get her to listen, but then we left and the house was all quiet and she started to think and that’s how Saturday happened.

Oh, yes, while I was there, I helped her get the flea medicine on the cats and give a couple of them Capstar pills. THAT was SO much fun! *groan* There are a couple of the crazy heathens that you have to do at the same time because once they smell the flea drops, they hide. So, she took Mara and I took Lain and then the fun began. It actually went a lot better than it has other times in the past. Some days it involves chasing the cats all over the house. The Capstar pills were actually the hardest part and two of the ones who really needed it managed to either keep it from going down their throat (George) or barfed it up (Aramis). I didn’t actually get scratched, but Mom took a couple of scratches and a glancing puncture bite from George’s huge freakin’ teeth.

The Rest of Thursday
We left Cartersville and headed toward Lilburn. We had to go to a Target on the way and we really had no desire to get stuck in traffic. Traffic sucks. We actually realized there is a Target on La Vista which is only a couple of exits from 78, so that’s where we got the meds filled. The pharmacist and the tech that were on duty while we were there totally rocked. I screwed up and gave them a script that was supposed to be filled at Walgreen’s because it was cheaper: instead of undoing it and giving me the script back, the pharmacist found the cheaper price, printed off the proof, and filled it at the Walgreen’s price. That was pretty freaking awesome.

As we waited for those to get filled, we took K over to the girls’ clothes and checked the $5 polos on her. I’m glad that we did. The size that we had thought she needed was wrong. Also? It was cool because they actually HAD the size we needed which had been a problem up in South Bend. We got her 2 white and 2 navy since they were in the cut that looked good, the nicer fabric, and were on sale. Huzzah for that. We grabbed a few other odds and ends and then made our way to Chris and Troy’s. By that point, I was ready to fall on my face for sure.

That, however, was not to be as I realized that something had been fucking up with Paypal and my old KSU bank account…to the tune of $104 in overdraft fees. I called and talked to the fucking bank for an hour and a half and I still have to deal with Paypal and hope that disputing the claims with KSU One will actually get me somewhere. What I don’t understand is that given that no money ever left the bank – they didn’t float the subscription payment and wait for me to pay them back – why they won’t take the fees off since it was a fuckup on Paypal’s part and not mine. Of course convincing Paypal that they fucked up is another matter entirely. *sighs* Like I have a spare $104.

After that I honestly can’t remember what all we did. I know that it was a fairly early night for bed, that’s for sure.

Friday Dawns
I wasn’t overly coherent when I woke up on Friday but there were some things that needed doing. I had missed a call from the secretary at Hamilton and she was on lunch when I called her back. I waited for her to return my call before taking a nap again. That makes the most awesome thing that I may say in this post: WE GOT IN! They have a third grade slot that now has K’s name on it! *Insert Snoopy Dance Here* I was over the moon excited and K is, too, at this point.

Rin and I were both a bit sad because we had wanted to go to Lake Winnie with the kids, but there’s no way we could have. I was too sick and she wasn’t feeling much better herself. We sent them all off late morning and didn’t see them again until after midnight. They had a fantastic time, though, which was totally awesome.

For the most part, she and I did a few things but not very much at all. We did make a late grocery store run and we had pizza for dinner. She worked on some laundry and we did a few other things but, yeah, exhaustion is a real bitch. Unfortunately, I had missed a call from Mom somewhere in all of it and didn’t find the voicemail until late. She was wanting to have dinner on Saturday instead of Sunday or Monday like we had previously discussed, which was mildly annoying, but workable.

Then Comes Saturday
(Time check-in: 3:30am)
I didn’t wake up until around 2. I called Mom back not terribly long after that. She was not in a good place and I knew it from minute one. She even said as much. She mentioned that Saturday would be more convenient for having dinner but that she wasn’t in a good place so it probably wasn’t a good idea. I was working on getting off the phone after having made plans for Sunday and I said “I love you” and she started crying and said that she loved me too but wished that she didn’t because it hurt so much. I didn’t have a whole lot to say to that one because, really, what do you say to that?

Unfortunately, the conversation deteriorated from there. She started dredging things up and hastily ticked off my father who was in the room with her. She added to that when she said that she thought she had had a mini-stroke at Walmart on Friday night but that she hadn’t told him about it because she had already worried him enough when she had gotten home from the store, dropped her bags in the middle of the floor, and had sobbed for fifteen minutes straight. *sighs* She really has got to knock that shit off. He is going to become more and more tired of it and then she is more and more going to get the annoyed/pissed off reactions from him. It’s a vicious chain but she should know it by now. Of course, the cynical part of me points out that she couldn’t play the poor pitiful me game without doing it the way she does it so…I dunno.

Basically, there was a lot of rehashing of the same old crap. She doesn’t understand why I am taking K away. She doesn’t understand why I left in the first place. She doesn’t think things were that bad before I left. She thinks I left because of my relationship with Rin. She thinks that my “lifestyle” that I am taking K into is a bad one and that it was healthier there, etc, etc, etc. There were the accusations and the half-truths and the “you always do this always-never thing” and “why are you so defensive” and all of the other things that are the typical Passive-Agressive Bingo markers. When she was finally finished, I asked to talk to Dad and that went over SO well let me tell you.

I burst into tears because he hit a tone that I’ve not heard in months and that set me even more on edge and upset. I asked him a few questions and told him about K getting into Hamilton. I had wanted to tell him at dinner but since I didn’t know if that was going to happen, yeah, well, he had been excited by the thought, too, so I wanted him to know. I also found out that K had been telling people that she did not want to move at all which meant that there was a conversation that needed to happen there, too. Basically, I asked him to see if he could get her to settle and figure out if we were still on for dinner on Sunday or if we weren’t. I wasn’t going to make a decision just then, in part because I kind of wanted to see my Dad.

I got off the phone and had a meltdown. That was fun. Thankfully, K was in the shower while all of that was going on.

Talking to Eight Year Olds About Big Scary Things is Big and Scary
Rin and I sat her down and we were asking her a few questions. She started to get upset, but I needed to get her to talk to me again. It had been a little while since we had really sat down and talked about moving, so I wanted to see where she was in her head. Basically, she is understandably scared and is understandably going to miss people; however, she is not completely against the idea. There are things that she is very much looking forward to.

I told her that it was perfectly all right and normal to be those things but that I needed her to talk to me about them, too. I explained that people thought that she really, really did not want to go and that I am being completely unfair by taking her so far away and I told her that maybe instead of saying that she does not want to move, to try explaining the “I’m scared” part. I also told her that we’re a team and that I need her to not just talk to me about the happy, fun things, but also the big scary things, too.

She got upset a few times however it was a really good conversation. It was also a bit enlightening. I did explain to her that I trust her and I trust that when she tells me the things that she does that I am taking her at her word. I want her to understand that telling the truth is important and I’m pretty sure I got that message across, too. We gave her snuggles and got her settled and talked to her about a few other things, too. Rin cracked her up by calling her Robin to my Batman.

The whole world may go crazy around me, but I’m pretty sure that my kiddo is going to be okay. I just have to get us moved and get her settled into a new routine first…then I don’t think it will be near so overwhelming for her.

After the Emotional Roller Coaster
I say after, but really it was after the worst of it was over to be perfectly honest, we started trying to make plans for the rest of the day. We had been contemplating going to Parish and Lennetta’s pool party, but Doxy and Prednisone plus my normal Relafen are all “avoid direct sunlight” type medicines and Doxy really doesn’t lie with that one and since being in the water would only exacerbate that and since it was almost 100 degrees out we decided it wasn’t the best idea. Also, we had been wanting to get together with Claudia, MichaelAngelo, and D on whichever day we weren’t heading to Cartersville, so that was the plan we ultimately made.

Rin made me yummy ramen with veggies and made certain I had enough food to take medicines with and then we finished getting ready to head out. We left a bit later than we had wanted, but it kind of worked out because Claudia didn’t get back with D until a little bit before we got there. Of course, part of the extra time was that the Dekalb Farmer’s Market on Saturday is a black hole. Seriously, I think I hate going there on Saturday and would like to avoid it at all costs. But, we needed to get some fruit for our contribution to dinner and I wanted asparagus because I’ve been craving it lately and have had fuck all luck finding it most places, so off to the market we went. We made some great finds and also stocked up on water for Orlando.

Hanging out with them was very awesome. Dad did call while we were getting ready to eat dinner and explained that his option had come to “you can take them out to dinner somewhere else” and while he had considered it, he decided that rescheduling might be the better option. Indeed. It would bite everyone on the ass, him especially since he has to live with her. I also was not going to try to explain to K why her Gamma wasn’t there. Thanks, but no. So, he and I talked for a few minutes and he was in a much better mood than he had been the night before and I was glad of -that- for sure.

Dinner was amazing barbecue that MA cooked with an interesting side of greens and asparagus. It was yummy. Gino ate with us and I had fun talking with him while he was hanging out. He’s a pretty neat dude. One of Claudia’s friends whose name is totally escaping me now also came over for a bit. She was pretty funny and definitely had a few neat stories of her own.

We ended up tucking all three kids to bed in D’s room so that the grown-ups could have adult talking time (and also because they were just all that tired). In the end, we ended up staying the night because Rin and I were both wiped and even though the drive isn’t that long, we really didn’t want to wake the kids up and, well, MA did say he’d make pancakes. 😀 I had a surprisingly good night of sleep for it being the first day of 60mg of Prednisone and for sleeping in a recliner. I don’t normally manage that one well but it kind of worked out and that was totally awesome.

Hello, Sunday
The kids woke up before nine loaded for bear. *laughs* We kept trying to shush them and finally gave up and sent them to play outside for a bit before it got ridiculously hot. I dozed off and on on the sofa until Claudia woke up. By that point, Rin was making toast for me and the squirts out of challah bread from the market which I ❤ so much, and was also making sure the kiddos ate fruit, too. However, what was totally adorable was that Rin made the kids plane toast. We had two kinds of challah bread, plain and raisin, and she asked which they wanted. D thought she meant AIRPLANE and that’s what he wanted, so she made little airplane designs out of cinnamon on some of the pieces and D thought it was AWESOME. I’m pretty sure K and F did, too! MA woke up a bit after that and started work on the pancakes which the kids devoured. I actually thought they were pretty awesome, too, and I don’t normally eat pancakes. 😀

It was a fairly laid back morning outside of a phone call from Mom that I decided to answer later. She left a rather flat voicemail and wanted to know if that day was going to be the only one where she could see K or if she would get to see her before we went back up to Indiana. I decided to wait to answer it until we were back in Lilburn in part because I was irked and in part because I didn’t want K to overhear.

Unfortunately, we had to leave before we really wanted to. F had a birthday party to attend, so we had to get him home for that. K was a bit bummed since the party was at Chuck E. Cheese’s; however, Troy took her anyway, so that was pretty cool.

I did call Mom back and explained that I had told her that if we did not see her this weekend that we would get together with them before we headed back up and she said, “Yes, but that was before yesterday.” Well, yes it was, but that doesn’t change the fact that it will likely happen. Jeezus. She tried to get into a few more things and I was like, “No. Just no.” I wasn’t in the mood for it, I didn’t have the energy for it, and there’s no real point in it.

Essentially, I am breaking her heart into pieces and she doesn’t understand why. She doesn’t think that it’s fair that I am taking K away since she built her whole life around us. I actually would put some argument into that one. Part of the reason that she did that is true: it was about me and K. Some of it, though, is that she turned into damn near an agrophobe and quit going anywhere and doing anything and had no real idea where to start. She doesn’t have friends who are nearby; she doesn’t want to make them from the suggestions that I’ve offered. She wants K and I to be there and that’s that. *sighs* It’s not going to happen that way, but she doesn’t believe it.

She also wanted to know if she could have K for the weekend since Rin and I will be in Orlando. I told her “I don’t know” instead of my first thought of “oh hell no.” She asked why I didn’t know and I explained that I didn’t want to leave K with her with the headspace she is in. She tried to tell me that she isn’t in that space when she has K with her; however, I have seen her be in that space with K with her and I know better. So, the answer was I don’t know. She found herself about one more push from, “If you are pushing me to answer you right now, the answer is a definite no.” *headshake* Not playing that game right now. I don’t have to.

I went to take a nap after that because I was exhausted. The meds are running me all over the place as far as that goes which is never fun. When I woke up, Rin and I coordinated with Parish to meet him at the new Goodwill at Perimeter Center. Troy (gods love him) still had the kids at Chuck E. Cheese, so Rin and I headed over and were pleased to find Lennetta there, too. We actually got really lucky in a few of our finds, including three khaki skirts for K, a pair of pants for me, a comfy dress for Rin, a couple of other odds and ends, and an OMFG SO ADORABLE jacket that makes me look like a purple penguin. It is one of the puffy down type coats and comes to my bloody ankles and oh my gosh it is awesome. The fact that it cost me less than $8 is also incredibly awesome. Oh, yeah, and we got one of the original Nintendo DS’s for about $30 and that was with the Guitar Hero game and controller. We aren’t sure if it works or not; we need to find a charger for it, but it was still a pretty wicked deal, particularly with the Guitar Hero bit.

Once we finished, we touched base with Chris who said that the kids were fine and that Troy had survived the party but was taking a nap and that yes, we were fine to go hang out with Parish and Lennetta for awhile. We headed over to their apartment and L was quite happy because she had Rin there to teach her how to make Shepherd’s Pie which is one of her specialties. They had a blast in the kitchen while Parish introduced me to Boom Blox Bash Party for Wii. That game is totally awesome and frustrating at the same time. He pointed out that it is great for aggression and also for driving one to drink. *laughs* I actually drove him to drink in one part! It was kind of funny.

We played that game for hours and the poor man was falling on his face by the time we finally left; however, it was a fucking awesome night for all of is. I wish I had jotted down a few of the better one line comments that parts of the game inspired, because really, some of the characters make you say the damndest things. Hell, half the fun in some places is seeing how many of the crazy little critters you can blow up! It certainly does make you feel better to send the crazy cows or the snark raccoon flying with a bowling ball or a bomb. One line that definitely stuck with me was the pirate chickens though. Parish told L that yes, they do in fact lay bombs as eggs and carry swords and the fits of giggles -that- inspired were pretty epic.

I do believe that game will have to be one we invest in once we get the Wii set up in Indiana. Bwahahahahaha!

It was a very good night with awesome food and even more awesome company and wrapped up the weekend rather nicely.

Oh, Monday, You Are So Fickle
Today has sucked. I have spent most of the time I’ve been awake trying to decide if I really do want to throw up given that I certainly was naseous enough for it. I made a couple of mistakes with the order that I took meds in this afternoon and have paid for it all day. We went to dinner at Golden Corral and I didn’t make it through one plate before I was wishing I hadn’t eaten anything and the poor kids kept getting fussed at bit for telling me about some of their weird food combos because just the sight of food was making me feel worse and, well, they are creative. I rode home with my hands over my eyes so that I didn’t hurl in the car…it was THAT bad.

I was going to lay down and let Rin and K go run a couple of errands but we got started sorting out a few things (like which errands needed running) and watching Phineas and Ferb’s summer special which was pretty epic itself. 😀 That was freaking hilarious. While we were doing that, Rin also showed me how to make Lego Leia and General Kenobi on our helpful models. I took pics but will have to upload them later.

Rin finally did take K to the store while F was going to bed. She wouldn’t have taken her; however, since part of the errand was to check on the uniform items on sale at Wal-mart, she kind of had to go. While they went, I laid down because I still felt pretty wretched. A lot.

With all of that going on, I had forgotten that Mom had called asking to talk to K about something they had discussed previously. I honestly had forgotten about it because I’d felt like shit but her one line FB message reminded me. At that point I also realized that it was pretty late and that Rin and K weren’t back yet so I got a bit worried before I finally got her on the phone. She got home and made me more ramen and helped me take medicines and basically took care of me. I sent Mom a short reply that basically ticked off the highlights of why I’d forgotten but she’ll probably think it was me avoiding her. Whatever. I still don’t feel all that great and don’t know that I overly care just this second. Will I later? Probably. Now? Nah.

Heading for the Harbor or Something Like That
As it stands, it’s 4:18 and Rin’s been asleep on the couch for about an hour now. We really need to go to bed, but I got started writing and it has taken a fair bit to put all of the pieces together and considering that I quit futzing with FB things to focus on it and it STILL took this long might say something towards how much I needed to get the details sorted.

At any rate, I really do need to wrap up because it is incredibly late and I’m exhausted and today is going to be a long day. I have more face painting things to learn, we have to make certain that everything is packed and in the car ready to go, and you know, actually sleep at some point, too. Fun, fun, fun. We are heading out at some point in the likely pre-dawn hours Wednesday because we have a meeting we have to attend at 5:30pm in Orlando. I am both excited and nervous about this and just hope that I don’t totally screw up. Or barf.

Also, we are still debating the Last Tour to Endor. Hollywood Studios teamed up with the convention and are having a special event to help kick off the last rides on Star Tours before it is revamped and there is a special event that will have that park open for Celebration guests from like 8pm to 1am which is pretty cool. However, it costs $75 each…but that is my favorite park and one of hers, too. We will likely not do it, but damn do we both want to.

Also still up for debate but perhaps a bit less than before thanks to a couple of ideas Parish had is Dragon*Con. The lure of Misty and Larry is great…and so is the whole anniversary celebration thing and the seeing people we like thing. We still have to think about it and work a few more kinks out and also, to be perfectly honest, see how we feel after Celebration, but it is seeming like more of a yes than a no at the moment.

Ah well, ’tis time to sleep, I hope. I have more to say but have lost all sense of coherency in my head and am, therefore, done.

End time: 4:23am

*PRN stands for pro re nata in Latin which means “in the circumstances” or “as the circumstances arise.” It is the medical term for medications like pain medications or anti-nausea meds that a person takes “as needed.” I do occasionally toss out a few medical terms like that and try to explain them when I do. If you have a question, do feel free to ask. Some of them I grew up with because Mom worked in the hospital for 14 years. Others I have learned since becoming a spoonie. PRN is one I use all the time and forget that not everyone knows what it is.

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