Today is our anniversary.

It is a date that I suppose would be incorrect by many standards of date setting. It isn’t the date that we officially started dating: that came later. It isn’t even the first day we met. That came earlier. No, more simply, today is the day that we became us and all of the wonder and chaos that entails.

We frequently joke that Dragon Con is our anniversary weekend, and in a lot of ways it is. What better way to celebrate than surrounded by fifty thousand other nerds? But the phenomena that is Rin and Brekke started on 5 September 2005 and it hasn’t stopped since. Eight crazy years have unfolded, and I cannot imagine a moment without her.

In those early days, we talked. A lot. The phone. Instant messenger. Email. We kept up strings of conversation in between our day to day lives, a habit we have never really broken. There were trips from Indiana to Georgia, and occasionally Georgia to Indiana. There were long stretches between trips that seemed to take forever and moments we were together that seemed to go too fast.

Now, when people see us, they most often realize we’re a matched set, a pair that so clearly goes together that anything else seems silly. We dress alike, mostly because it amuses us, though it is a habit that started when we lived apart because it made us both feel better.

I can’t tell you the exact moment that our relationship evolved into something more because the line was never that clear cut. We started as friends and it is friendship that is the basis for all that we are. Our relationship is far from perfect; gods know we have a chaos field that can be far reaching and we can argue as good as the next couple. We try to keep that to a minimum and we try to remember that at the end of the day, the glue that holds us together is stronger than one or the other of us acting like an asshole. (And I surely have more than my fair share of moments of being an asshole because I am certainly not the easiest person to live with.)

Eight years later, and she is the glue that helps hold me together. She is Second Mommy to my daughter and I doubt I could have put in an order for a better fit for that role. K gets the best of all the worlds between the two of us: a love of books and the out doors and a wide variety of nerdish out and geekery, a love of cooking and gardening (which she SURELY would not have found in me), and a different set of life experiences that culminates in a wide range of parental offerings. We make a great partnership and there’s a happy, intelligent, healthy child that stands as an example of that.

I never imagined myself in a relationship with a girl, and in fact the idea was never really on my radar and yet now, I can’t imagine myself not in a relationship with her. She puts up with my foibles better than I have any right to expect. She helps hold me together when I fall broken at her feet. She makes me laugh, oh gods does she make me laugh, sometimes loudly and inappropriately, and in so many wonderful ways. She drives me crazy at times and even at our angriest, I still can’t imagine her not being in my life. If I had to define love, it wouldn’t be in words, but in a hundred little acts of kindness that she does without ever thinking about it.

So, no, perhaps in a traditional sense, this isn’t our anniversary, but it is the day that we agreed on as being able to share with other people and it is the day we became us and that’s a bloody important distinction in my world.

To me beloved, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for making me a better me. I love you beyond my meager capability of words to say. Here’s to more years of being us!

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